Bless U

[woolymonkey]

Those of you following my employer's efforts to fight swine flu with bureaucracy will be excited to learn that, already, less than 24 hours after we were notified of the University Pandemic Alert Phases...



Staff who develop symptoms, should stay at home and contact their line manager so that the University can take appropriate action. Line managers should inform Occupational Health on extension 53111 as soon as possible with the following details:
- The name of the employee
- Date symptoms started
- Work location (building, floor and where possible desk/office)
- If the member of staff was symptomatic whilst at work

If you've been paying proper attention (and aren't in bed with a temperature, headaches, and sneezing / hospitalised with breathing difficulties) you'll have realised what this means.

We have reached University Phase Red 2, action point 8 (of 10): Staff members confirmed as having the virus or with flu-like symptoms will be instructed to stay at home until they have fully recovered. (Oh, my! Didn't University Phases Green, Amber 1, Amber 2 and Red 1 just fly by?)

She's going down! All hands stand by to update procedures!
 

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

It's so reassuring to know that while they never seem to have time to do trivia like implement equal opportunities legislation, sort out staff support and so on, that university admin continue to be so proactive in producing instant response to the Really Important Issues. (Ask me about the great Cardiff Parking Survey some time.)

[woolymonkey.livejournal.com]

Quite! Who needs to be paid or told the right date for the exam so long as we get due warning that there might possibly be a case of swine flu in the UK within the next few weeks?
I can hardly wait to hear about the Cardiff Parking Survey!

[lj_stowaway]

"(Oh, my! Didn't University Phases Green, Amber 1, Amber 2 and Red 1 just fly by?)"

*snicker*

[woolymonkey.livejournal.com]

I suspect we may be into Red 3 already. The emails have stopped, and that can only mean that staffing levels are critically low.

[penknife.livejournal.com]

I think this action plan is sadly lacking in instructions for what to do about the phase that includes zombies.

[woolymonkey.livejournal.com]

Do try to pay attention. Didn't you read about University Phase White in my previous post?

4. The PICC will review this flu pandemic planning framework and incorporate amendments as necessary based on real-time events and occurrences during the pandemic phases.

That's your zombie planning right there! Updated in real time through a series of phases incorporated and ammended to take account of the dimensions of the lawn and the mean velocity of the zombies approaching across it.